What Each Character Of ‘Friends’ Would Earn In 2019 Betches

There are few things in life considered timeless, among them are The Beatles, blood-red lipstick, and, of course, Friends . Earnestly, that show prevented me alive during my junior semester abroad in a city that’s tied for least things to do and worst meat. If you’re ever in Spain, is ensured to not visit to Salamanca. Anyway, as an English major, I was trained to genuinely said he believed that characters live past the end of the story, so I’m truly hoping that 15 years after the last chapter aired, the Friends have all been promoted many, many times and can now afford their multi-bedroom suites in one of New York’s most expensive neighborhoods.

That got me thinking, what are these people up to in 2019? Not IRL, of course, but in Friends land aka a set in L.A . the street of Greenwich Village. Did Joey ever get cast again? Did Chandler graduate from his internship? Are they are continuing investing 23 hours a day in a f* cking coffee shop? And most importantly, what are they actually deserving in order to afford these multi-bedroom apartments in one of New York’s most expensive neighborhoods? Let’s find out!

Monica: Chef

Monica is my favourite. She’s loud, she’s pushy, and she’s clean af. Yep, she’s a Jewish momma, alright. In the last occurrence, she, Chandler and their twin babies moved upstate to Westchester County. If you’ve ever been there, you know that it is a beautiful home with absolutely nothing to do. Before she moved, Monica worked hard for her chief cook outlook at a ritzy resto called Javu’s( fictional, I checked ), and I’m guessing she didn’t simply afford that dream up to push a doubled stroller around the sidewalks of Chappaqua, New York. Good-for-nothing against moms–in fact, I hope to be one some period in the distant future–but Monica has always fostered a serious and not-to-be-f* cked with task ethic and I can’t imagine she’d employment her butt off to hurl her professional purposes away simply because she moved upstate. My guess is that, after a few years, the Bings moved back to Manhattan so that Monica could open her own French fusion restaurant on, like, the Upper West Side. To set things in view, a psyche chef at Union Square Hospitality Group, which owns Gramercy Tavern and Union Square Cafe, makes between $53 k and $96 k. Rendered Monica’s extensive time spent in kitchens/ diners all over the city, I’m guessing she’d make a salary closer to the right aim of the spectrum. Good see saddling up next her, Chandy.


Ross: Paleontologist

Good god, I hope he at least got tenure at NYU after what must feel like 75 years of studying fossils. Assuming he did get tenure, I’m also going to assume he’d be the director of the paleontology department at this point in time. Primarily since they are prob weren’t too many people up for never get laid as “the worlds largest” academic department’s president. So the average salary of government departments administrator role at NYU is $101 k. Excuse me, what ?! Are young Americans buried in student loans because their disgustingly expensive tuitions are being used to finance department heads’ six-figure wages? As a young American who graduated from college, I guess I speak for all of us when I say there is an urgent need for answers on this. Knowing Ross, he is spending his influx of money fund on more wannabe vintage decoration from Pottery Barn and, like monthly Birchbox Man subscriptions. That’s candidly all I have to say about him because I refuse to discuss the least likable character for more than 200 words.


Rachel: Mode “Executive”

I set “executive” in mentions because wtf does that entail? Whenever I’m swiping through Bumble and land on a person with something vague af like “Associate at Company” as his occupation title, I just assume he’s unemployed and waiting for his trust fund to become available. So, in the last episode, Rachel gets an offer from Louis Vuitton for a” fashion executive” post in the company’s Paris office and she nearly runs, but doesn’t because Ross’s whiney bullsh* t gets to her before the plane takes off. After Rachel decides to stay in New York, we don’t genuinely get answers about what she does re: her task. I am guessing she just decided to work for LV’s New York office, but who are knowledgeable about? And dedicated her suffer in buying, I’m likewise going to assume that she’s a buyer at Louis Vuitton, in which instance, she’s making around $40 k. Sounds about right. Good thing she has Ross’ income to fall back on. As a survivor of the way world-wide, I can confirm that it’s a terrible industry if you want to be able to enjoy simple amusements of life like wifi or electricity.


Joey: Actor

This is another favorite Bumble job title. When I learn “actor” on someone’s profile, it’s safe to say that he’s a Flywheel instructor. I candidly have no notion how much Joey made during the show, but considering “hes been”, like always out of work, his typical income was prob closely connected to zero. And because I’m a cynical New Yorker who’s met everybody in cinema except for Emily Ratajkowski’s sneaky prick of a partner get f* cked by the industry, I’m assuming the most prestigious run Joey has to offer is supporting roles in NYU student films. Since Joey clearly didn’t realize that he could be living rent-free in a beautiful Noho loft courtesy of the New York Multiple Dwelling Law( the only kind thing New York government workers have done for creatives ), Joey is likely a bartender at a dive barroom, where he’d be making a whopping$ 3/ hour , not including tips. As a former waitress, I’m not wholly shocked by this considering most people in the service industry give their income through gratuities, and something tells me this Italian meatball is doin’ just fine.


Phoebe: Masseuse

After her failed massage van idea, I’d truly hope Phoebe would get a stable occupation at a spa or something. The mystery of how she renders her suite will forever be one of the most wonderful kept secrets to date, but maybe after she gets hired by a place like Red Door Spa, she knows how stimulate her living situation more believable. Knowing Phoebe, though, she probably works at some parlor in Korea Town that offers happy finishes after a mediocre rub down. Let’s hope not. Either way, she’d be taking dwelling between $15 – $35 plus gratuities. We know her music job won’t be taking off anytime soon, so I’m genuinely hoping she threw the guitar down and took on a few extra hours at the spa.


Chandelier: Transponster

One of Friends ‘ most well known plot lines is that no one is well aware Chandler does for a living. I’ve seen the reveal at the least five times because it ended, and I still don’t know what he does, even when I actually pay attention to the agency scene. So after hours of research, I discovered that Chandler’s official job was data processing and statistical reconfiguration for multi-national corporations (???) before he became a junior advertising copywriter at some young agency. I don’t even know what to Google for his first undertaking, so I am assuming he stayed in advertise and clambered up the ladder until he reached Don Draper boss status. Chandler is prob working at a mid-level agency that earns between$ 2-$ 6 million in revenue, but he’s a senior account executive, so he’s making around $100 k. Not bad for someone who was an actual unpaid intern in his 30 s. Good thing he and Monica are raking in the currency because, if my twin brothers taught me anything, it’s that twins are f* cking expensive. Lastly, I’m glad he eventually got his sh* t together because he genuinely detested has become a transponster and no one should work at a chore they hate, even if the money is good, and that is why I will never understand why people grow traders on Wall Street.


Images: Netflix; Giphy( 6 )

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