The Types Of Guys Your Friends Will Try To Set You Up With On Ship Betches

March 15, 2019

The Business Bro The One Who Has A Dog Guys with bird-dogs have a 98% success rates with me, because I just assume that if they have a dog then they’re decent human beings. This isn’t always the case. Sometimes, the guys who post dog pics in their date app bios are just f* ckboys obscuring behind a really cute puppy, or worse yet, manipulative AF, because they just stole…

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Diggy Moreland’s ‘Bachelor’ Recap: Colton Jumps To Conclusions Instead Of Over Fences Betches

February 28, 2019

IT Episode 8 starts with Colton taking the first indoor shower we’ve appreciated all season. The fact that we know his cleansing regimen( all sea , no soap) is mind-boggling, but at least there’s a roof this time. If the soapless shower doesn’t establish your skin creeping, the fact that he jam-pack only a carry-on to four metropolis should. Just when I think this dude knows nothing, I determine Ugg…

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Are Pete Davidson and Kate Beckinsale Astrologically Compatible?

February 25, 2019

Beckinsale coyly clapping back via Instagram commentsI’ll admit it: I’m charmed by Scorpio and regular Pete Davidson–Ariana Grande’s notorious tweet might have something to do with it. If BDE( “Big Dick Energy” for those of you living on a limited data plan in your mom’s cellar) isn’t one of the first things you think when you hear Scorpio, you’re either lie or you’ve been jaded by one. View this post…

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Who Ted Bundy Is & Why Everyone’s Talking About Him Betches

February 6, 2019

Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy TapesSince so many of you freaks can’t tear yourselves away from watching yet another episode about the Dundies, I’m here to tell you who Ted Bundy is and why you should care. But tread carefully pals, such articles will recognize government officials end of your innocence. He Murdered At Least 30 Women Many of the women Ted killed were in their teens and…

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A Bro’s Breakdown Of Colton’s ‘Bachelor’ Contestants Betches

February 4, 2019

I’m Jared Freid. I’m a 33 year old comedian who loves The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. I love it so much, I live tweet every episode @jtrain56. As you can imagine, my father is v proud. V. For years, I’ve broken down the contestants before the new season. When I first started doing these, Snapchat was just an app to see boobs, and Instagram wasn’t a career. Also, ABC would only…

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12 Sci-Fi Movie Technologies That Went Stupidly Backwards

February 1, 2019

The name “science fiction” is a pretty good descriptor of the genre, if you want to think of it as two big buckets for a writer to fill. Bucket 1: science! Fun tech and gizmos to entertain and inspire. Bucket 2: fiction! Narrative and story and other engaging ideas that make us laugh, cry, and consider what it means to be human. It’s amazing that one genre can bring us…

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The Best And Worst Dressed From The Golden Globes Red Carpet Betches

January 16, 2019

Best-Dressed Julia Roberts Gemma Chan Ever since I saw Crazy Rich Asians, I’ve been obsessed with Gemma Chan. Like, epitome of girl crush. Her role in the movie as a boss b*tch, independent woman, and fashion icon already had me hooked. But now, that in combination with her stunning beauty and flawless off-screen style, I’m genuinely starting to think my heterosexual ways could be changed. This dress/romper situation was EVERYTHING….

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8 TV Shows We Can’t Wait To Binge Watch In 2019 Betches

January 12, 2019

With a brand-new year comes new responsibilities shown us binge watch. Frankly, I’m all about reading more and lying on my couch less in 2019, but I also need to carve out large-scale clumps of time to invest in some rly great drama, slapstick, and general odd sh* t. Make entertainment great again this coming year and schedule is now time to binge watch these shows you won’t want to…

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Everything That’s Worth Binging On Netflix This January Betches

January 7, 2019

We did it. The holidays are over and we’ve survived the family reunions, awkward high school run-ins in our hometowns, and talent shopping stress–even if that necessitates growing penniless in the end. Now that we’re back to adulthood activities such as having responsibilities, day-to-day duties, and going back into the office, the desperate need for a distraction has never been stronger. IDK about you, but the back-to-back holidays have left…

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Why Is Ariana Grande Celebrated For Doing What Taylor Swift Is Mocked For? Betches

December 31, 2018

Like most sentient Americans, I’ve spent the past few weeks in a world-wide where Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” is the only soundtrack. It’s extended well beyond the point of “great song! ” and into the realm of “if I don’t get my daily set, I will probably die.” I am certain I’m not alone in this, given that “thank u, next” has shattered multiple records in the streaming world….

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